I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize