Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
