does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
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