Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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