is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
