LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
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you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
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ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
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