I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
