cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize