actually, I'm a sock model
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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