I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
