I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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