just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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