I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
