There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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