I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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