Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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