When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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