threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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