yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
