Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
