He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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