To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
why do cheetos always look like penises
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Shame - the story of my life.
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