Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
How does it feel to date your dad?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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