Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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