About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
