ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
