He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
