The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
