Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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