i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
