i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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