Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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