It's just like the Real World with babies
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
