Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
