Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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