She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
My bed smells like the plague
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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