I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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