I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
