your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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