i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize