I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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