So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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