please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I need moral support for this bender
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
