I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i will never coherently bang her
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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