She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
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My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
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