whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
