I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
