Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
