I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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