forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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