I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
