she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
