You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
