I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
