Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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