We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
