when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize