I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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