sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
